forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
