I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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