No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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