If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
