can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
