So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
