I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
