Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
