She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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