What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
