You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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