I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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