I don't usually arrange sex via text message
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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