I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
