it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
