...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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