If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
