That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
