i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i love accidental penises.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
