I heard we made out
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
