yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
