I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
