OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
