super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
