you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
