you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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