Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
