if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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