can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
