you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
