ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
