I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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