im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You did what with his pubic hair?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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