It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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