Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
