This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
