You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
