Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
