My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
