he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
