This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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