he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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