please come you make the beer taste better
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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