Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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