No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
