Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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