Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
