we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
