i think my tv is drunk
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
