I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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