its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wear drunk well.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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